What Is Child Abuse?

*Pinching       *Treating as a servant

*Hitting      *Interrupting

*Kicking      *Denying input in custody/visitation

*Pushing      *Name Calling

*Twisting Arms     *Using as a confidant

*Choking      *Using to spy on other parent

*Incest       *Shaming

*Sexual touching/kissing    *Isolation

*Withholding basic needs    *Threatening punishment by:

*Using money to correct behavior    *God

*Squandering family money     *Police

*Withholding child support     *Psych ward

*Threatening abandonment     *Foster homes

*Threatening suicide     *Using adult size

*Threatening confinement    *Being violent to other parent

*Threatening physical harm    *Being violent to pet

Signs of a Child in Crisis

*Loss of appetite or any change in eating pattern

*Sleep disturbances such as nightmares or restlessness

*School problems such as refusing to attend, truancy, or a drop in performance

*Withdrawal

*Clinging to mother or sibling

*Shyness

*Fear of the dark

*Increased violent behavior such as kicking, hitting or fighting

*Verbal abuse or talking back

*Regression such as bed wetting, wanting a bottle, baby talk, and thumb sucking

*Inappropriate responses to discipline

*Temper tantrums

*Whining

*Oversensitivity

*Role reversal such as taking on a parenting role

*Testing and pushing limits as far as possible

*Stealing

*Lying

*Bowel irregularity or diarrhea

Characteristics of Children Living in Violent Homes

*A combination of limited tolerance for frustration, poor impulse control, and externalized and internalized anger

*Sadness, depression, stress disorders, and psychosomatic complaints

*Absences from school, pre-delinquent and delinquent behavior

*Sexual acting out, running away, isolation, loneliness, and fear

*Continual hopefulness that situation will improve

*Poor definition of self or a definition of self in the parenting role (role reversal)

*Low self esteem; sees self and siblings with few options or expectations to succeed

*Increased social isolation, increased peer isolation, or complex identification with peers

*Poor social skills

*Feelings of powerlessness

*Constant fear and terror for their life as well as for their parents

*Confusion and insecurity

*Increased deception, including lying, stealing and cheating

*Poor definition of personal boundaries and of others’ personal boundaries

*Little or no understanding of the dynamics of violence, and often an assumption that violence is the norm

*Self-blame for family violence, separations, divorce, and internal conflicts

*Frequent participation in maiming or killing animals or battering siblings

*Use of violence as a problem-solving technique in school, with peers, and with family

*Poor sexual image, uncertainty about appropriate behavior, and immaturity in peer relationships

*Heightened suicide risk and attempts; increased thoughts of suicide or of murdering parents